I have been in the U.S. for almost two years now, yet, I still have feelings of uncertainty about my future here. Back home, I was gainfully employed; I was in the legal profession, a field that commanded respect. I had my family with me and I had a lot of good and trusted friends who were there to support me when the chips were down.
Now, I am far from the comforts of home; away from my family and friends; not anymore gainfully employed because I am back to being a full-time student. Back home, I enjoyed some kind of special treatment and respect on account of my profession. Here, I am a nobody. Back home, I am financially independent and, therefore, I can go shopping whenever I want to and enjoy some luxuries - as long as my pocketbook can afford them. Now, I depend upon my husband for my regular needs - something I am not used to back home.
I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision in giving up my career in order to come here. I sometimes wonder if I really belong in this place. I am constantly praying to the Lord, seeking His guidance and wisdom; and I know He is watching over me. When I am down and unsure, I seek solace in the Lord. My friends always say that the Lord sent me here because He has plans for me.
I believe so. In Jeremiah 29:11, the Lord says "For I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." The Lord brought me here, away from family, friends, material and worldly security, because He wants to teach me to fully trust in Him. It is easy to trust in the goodness of the Lord when life is easy, but when faced with trials and uncertainties, it takes great faith to say, "I trust in God's plans for me."
Real security comes from trusting God - not in oneself, nor in other people. We achieve spiritual growth as a result of the trials we experience in life. I have been through a lot of trials since I got here. Trials which I have not experienced back home. What does God want to teach me ? I think he wants me to develop the spirit of humility. He probably wants me to be stronger, and at the same time, submissive. Most of all, He wants me to become more faithful in Him.
We will never grow spiritually if we just stay within our comfort zones; for which reason, the Lord brings us into situations where we have nobody to turn to but Him. I have learned not to depend upon material security, and not to hold much importance in material things. "What good will it do to a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?" The Lord knows the desires of my heart, He knows what is best for me and my loved ones, so I entrust everything to Him.
God allows us to face risks, changes and uncertainties because He wants us to live by faith. Security is not found in the company of other people, for even those whom we hold dear, will fail us. Real security is found only in God.