Friday, November 21, 2008

For Couples: How to Fight Clean


The following is a message written by Charles R. Swindoll in the the Couple's Devotional Bible:

Most marriages have their periodic skirmishes- and, occasionally, an all-out-war.  We can't stamp out fighting completely, but we can learn how to fight clean.  Here are biblical ground rules for marital battles:

First, commit yourselves to honesty and mutual respect.  Have you committed yourself, verbally and honestly in your soul, to being authentic and honest wit your partner- viewing him or her with respect?

Next, lay down your deadly weapons.  A temper that slips out of control is sinful.  Anger that means to hurt is sin.

Third, agree with your mate that the time is right.  Both partners should sense when to talk.  There are times to disagree, and there are times not to disagree.

Fourth, after you take a verbal swing, be ready with a solution.  When you come to your mate with justified criticism, be quick with a suggested solution.

Fifth, watch your words and guard your tone.  The louder our voices, the less our mate will hear; the uglier the words, the less we will communicate.

Finally, when it's all over, help clean up the mess.  Be compassionate enough to weep with the one who's hurt from the fight.

A fool gives full vent to his anger
but a wise man keeps himself under control.
- Proverbs 29:11

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